Disaster movies

April 27, 2009
So close...

So close...

This weekend I watched the remake of ‘The Day the Earth stood still.’  Terrible.  I was with it all the way until the end when Keanu decided that humans were worth saving.  What a load of crap!  When will they make a disaster movie that caters to the segment of the population that wants to see humanity get wiped out!  Huh?!  I’m not saying I’m eagerly anticipating the day the human race goes extinct, I’m just saying that from the earth’s perspective, we’re like a houseguest that has over stayed our welcome – all six billion of us.  Think of it this way:  Everything on this planet exists in perfect balance with everything else – except for us.  The entire system is self-regulating – the ultimate proof of the feasibility of free markets – but then homo sapien comes along and throws the proverbial monkey wrench (pun intended) into the system and messes up the whole thing.  My theory as to why we keep making things worse is because at some point a little strand of dna mutated that left us with the desire not only to exist, but the desire to improve our existence.  And therein lies the problem (at least from the earth’s perspective).  Everything else on this planet simply wants to exist – to quote Homer, ‘all you do is sleep and eat and mate and sleep…where do I sign up?’  We, on the other hand, don’t seem content with that existence, and therefore we spend our days seeking ways to improve our existence, but unfortunately for the earth, since everything that happens on this planet is a zero-sum gain, the improvement of one comes at the expense of another.  I take great comfort in the idea that at some point humanity will go extinct, and the earth will forget all about us, and everything will go back to its perfectly self-regulating existence.  I take great comfort not because I like the idea of an impending apocalypse, I just like the idea that in the end, anything we do just isn’t that big a deal, and that eventually the earth will heal itself and start anew.  I just wish I could be around to see it – but since that would defeat the whole point, I’ll continue to wait for the movie.



  1. I still think you’re pretty weird, but have to admit this is a pretty good post. I’ll think you’ll be waiting a while for the movie, though!

  2. More importantly, are there any boobies in the movie? I’ll let that be my deal-breaker.

    Yes, I’m being satirical. But I also like boobies.

  3. Max, there WILL be bunkers. You know that right? Someone will have a crazy idea like “save us, life is precious.”

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