November 3, 2009

What is it with Jewish women and teabags?  Every time my wife and I go to my parent’s house for dinner they always serve tea after dinner, but they serve it in a communal teapot and don’t increase the number of teabags relative to the number of people who will be drinking tea.  So what you get is one teabag being used to flavor a giant pot of water that will then be distributed amongst ten or so people! Mmmm….hot honey water!  To paraphrase Arrested Development, ‘It’s so moist, but with a smack of honey!’  I understand that my Mom makes tea the same way her Mom makes it, which is a result of having gone through the Great Depression when teabags were scarce blah blah blah…but for the love of god, we live in an age where you can buy 50 teabags for $5, and you’re telling me they can’t splurge on a couple extra tea bags!  They spend more money feeding the dog than they do on preparing the after dinner drink!  The worst part is that whenever we leave my parents house we always go home and fix a cup of tea (one bag PER person) because I’ve now got an unsatisfied hankering for tea thanks to my Mom’s patented tea deprivation treatment.  Someone call the CIA, I think we’ve figured out how to get all those terrorists to talk!  After all, they do love their tea…



  1. I think it really must be a Jewish thing, cause my mom and grandma always used a tea bag per person and my grandma is older than yours!

  2. Tea sucks. Drink coffee like a real American. (Don’t tell yer ma I said that.)

  3. Of course everyone expects “Mom” to respond to this totally non-factual rendition of tea at our house in a defense and scathing way. And never does Mom disappoint, so let me point out the fallacies in my so-called “wise son’s” dribble.

    First and most important – if he had bothered to even ask if I needed help in the kitchen in preparing the tea (or clearing the table or doing the dishes that his poor father had to do while his poor mother was busy getting a perfectly lovely desert served) or looking in the pot he would have clearly seen 2 pomegranite white tea teabags AND a small metal loose tea holder that was filled to its brim with organic white tea leaves! One teabag my evil eye!@!

    Second, the way good tea is made is to let it steep for a long time. Of course I did this! I made a half pot of tea with the aforementioned PROPER amount of tea about 30 minutes before it was served. Then, at cake time I added the rest of the hot water and let it steep a few minutes more. Not good enough for you@!?@!? How about some cold water from the dog’s bowl next time!

    Third, honey was added INDIVIDUALLY by the drinkers. If you didn’t put enough in it’s your own damn fault!

    Last, Mommy dearest would like a new teapot. One that doesn’t drip when it pours and holds enough for 10 or so cupt. So wise son, if you have any sense and want to get back on my good side find me a really cool one for our 34th wedding anniversary – 28 years of which have been taken up by your so called “observations”. But, as always, I love you and your wife. Does she put up with this kind of abuse? Mother Ducker.

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