Archive for March, 2010

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post it note

March 16, 2010

On the door to the bathrooom at work the security people posted a sign asking, “Do you know how to get out of the building in the dark?” 

I responded by putting up a sticky note that says, “Do you really think it’s the light that is preventing you from leaving?”

It’s been one of those days.

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Typical Jewish Guilt Trip

March 15, 2010

As part of my ongoing research into the pros and cons of children, here’s a great article on why not having children equates you to Hitler (you have to read between the lines, but trust me, it’s there):  http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/161005/jewish/Should-We-Have-Children.htm

Here are the gems:

For your future children: Although we only meet them when they are born, our children’s souls are waiting in a celestial transit area for their time to come down to earth. There are souls that are destined to be parented by you and your wife, eagerly awaiting their chance to be born. I can almost hear them egging you on, hoping that your decision will turn in their favor.

Can’t you just hear your grandmother saying that last line and using the same tone as when she tried to get you to eat that last matzah ball?  “You know, there are starving people all over the world who would kill for that food.”  Furthermore, if they’re  ‘destined to be parented by [me]” then what’s the problem?  Is God’s omnipotence really rivaled by a thin piece of plastic or a once-a-day pill?

Our parents may not have been perfect, but whoever they were, they bothered to bring us into this world

Great.  So just because two horny teenagers got drunk and hooked up in some back alley means I should do the same?  (Note:  I’m referring to the universal collective parents, not my specific parents, whose story is far more interesting)

The drive to procreate is the most powerful instinct because it is the most G-dlike

Damn.  I wish someone had told me this Freshman year!  I could have scored big at all those Post Shabbat keggers!

And the research continues…

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This does not bode well…

March 15, 2010

While reading articles about the pros and cons of having children I stumbled across this gem:  “Parenthood is an act of hope and faith in the future.”  See https://ducksaway.wordpress.com/category/apocalypse/ for my feelings on the future.

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Literary Regrets

March 11, 2010

There's not an epic poem out there that can't be enhanced with mutant powers.

I’m pretty sure my only literary regret when I die will be not having read ‘Dante’s Inferno.’  No matter how many times I try to read that poem I always fail after the first page.  I don’t get it! It’s got everything I want!  Religion, death, hell, deep theological issues, you know…some nice light reading.   I’ve read the X-Men comic where Dr. Strange takes them through Dante’s Hell and I love it!  Maybe I’ll wait for the movie to come out…I also understand there’s a video game as well…and I do have a birthday coming up…

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New shave brush

March 8, 2010

I got my new shave brush in the mail yesterday and got to use it for the first time today.  Awesome!  It’s so much better than my old one.  This one has a nice rosewood handle instead of a cheap plastic one, it comes with a little stand to allow the water to drain properly, the bristles don’t fall out when I’m shaving, I don’t have to hold the thing together…ahh…such a good purchase.  I always feel better with a nice warm tuft of badger fur on my face!

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Constitutional constructionism vs. evolution

March 4, 2010

Treating the Constitution like a static document that doesn’t need to adapt to the passage of time is like trying to operate your TiVo with an instruction manual from a Betamax VCR.  Yeah, the buttons look the same and you can probably muddle your way through the basic tasks, but you’re completely missing out on all the other possibilities and not using it to its full potential. 

I really need an Ipod for my morning commute.

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Irritating shuttle rider

March 2, 2010

I hate it when people who know each other sit next to each other on the shuttle because then they feel obligated to talk to one another,  meaning the rest of the shuttle has to endure their insipid conversation for what should be a nice and quiet way to ease into the day.  To make it even worse, the women who was engaged in conversation was wearing earmuffs, meaning she had a hard time hearing herself so she was speaking more loudly that was warranted.  And on top of that, the last car of the metro wasn’t working so we all had to squeeze into the second to last car.  This is not a good sign…