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Tea Party

April 15, 2010

Today on my way into work I ran into a bunch of tea party guys.  It was awesome!  The first thing I noticed was their t-shirts which had ‘progressive tax’ (which benefits lower income people because it puts a higher burden on higher wage earners) crossed out and ‘income tax’ (the majority of which goes to defense spending, which tea party members favor) crossed out.  At first I thought I should just keep my mouth shut (after all, what better way to marginalize someone then by ignorning them) but then I figured, screw it, I’ll have some fun.  So I started pumping my fist and telling them to “go get ’em” in an overly sarcastic manner.  I received only half-hearted responses.  Now, if I was a true tea party guy I would think that either way they would get all excited – if they thought I was sincere they would respond with an equally emotional “Yeah!” or something equally inane, and if they thought I was being sarcastic (which I was) they would try and leap down my throat.  I got nothing!  The only thing I got was one guy saying, half-heartedly I might add, “I’ve got my pitchfork.”  (just in case Obama turns out to be Frankenstein).  I then passed the fruit vendor on the street and told him he should have stocked up on rotten fruit just for the day.  (At least he got the joke!)  I’ll tell you though, the truest sign of the validity of any political group is the quality of their jean shorts.  Nothing says, “I’m a lower-middle class American who hates the goverment” more than thigh length, ultra-light wash, denim shorts matched to a brand new pair of sparkling white tube socks.  Using that yard stick, these guys were truly devoted tea party followers, just not before they’ve had their coffee.  (er…tea…I suppose…)

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2 comments

  1. Maybe you should have kept those god forsaken jeans from college so you could cut them down and blend in with the crowd to instigate internal unrest 🙂


  2. That explains it! I saw some “rural looking” folks trying to figure out the complicated, high-tech metro turn stiles this morning and the station manager yelling at them because they were trying to go through the wrong end. I bet if the fare cards looked like carnival tickets they’d be navigating the metro system lickety-split! Zing.



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