In honor of the Russian Spy ring that was recently busted I’d like to offer a nice little story about the good old days, when the war was cold and the women were hot. (As opposed to today, where the war is hot and the women are…well, it’s hard to tell when their faces are covered.)
The story goes that when the Soviet Union started using ‘honey traps’ to blackmail foreign officers (honey traps were beautiful women trained by the Soviet Union to seduce men and have sex with them while being videotaped) they also figured they could double their collection efforts by training men to seduce foreign women. After a year of both these programs being up and running they decided it just wasn’t cost effective to train both men and women so they sat down to figure out which program to cut. It didn’t take long for the budget analysts to realize that whereas the costs associated with the men seducing women included extensive grooming to make the men look presentable, training them to act sophisticated, buying them expensive clothes, picking up the tab at an expensive restaurant, and buying the woman drinks, flowers, and other gifts, the costs associated with women seducing men were $5 worth of makeup and a bottle of vodka. Guess which program got cancelled.