Peeling back the veneer of defense programs

There was an article that ran in the Washington Times yesterday whose headline was, “Plan to cut weapons programs disputed.”  The basic gist of the article was that Obama’s plan to reorganize defense spending (not cut, since he is expanding the defense budget by $20 billion to a total of $534 billion, a point often overlooked by opponents of his plan) is going to destroy American jobs, namely the F-22 Raptor, a state of the art, kick-ass plane guaranteed to provide air superiority for the next thousand years (but that hasn’t been used once in either Iraq or Afghanistan, despite what the ‘Iron Man’ movie would have you believe.) 

Now that's a program worth funding!

For example, the article quotes Jeff Goen, president of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers chapter in Marietta, GA, (which is only one of the 44 states the F22 is built in) who states, “It doesn’t make sense that our government is looking at trying to save or create jobs at the same time it’s talking about cutting something like this [the F22].” What I love about this argument is that it completely strips away the thin veneer of strategic necessity and gets right to the core of the issue.  Usually, whenever people try and talk up defense programs that are threatened with termination, they frame it in a strategic context, such as, ‘we need [insert program here] because it’s vital to our national security.’  It doesn’t matter what the program is or what it is supposed to do, it is always claimed to be vital to the welfare of our national security.  Not this time.  This article states point blank that the only reason people are upset about the proposed cancellation of the F22 is the potential loss of jobs.  Stop me if I’m wrong, but at what point did economic impact factor into decisions regarding the procurement of weapon systems?  I always thought that the weapons we bought were based on objective analysis of future threats and what was needed to combat them.  OK, so I never really believed that, but still, it’s a nice thought.  Anyways, back to the article. 

 

Now that we have finally gotten past the BS argument that these soon-to-be-cancelled programs are ‘strategically important’ and admit that all we are really concerned about are jobs, that then begs the question of, ‘why not use the military as an economic stimulator?’  Strangely enough, there is precedent here:  The great depression ended not because of massive social programs, but because of WWII, which required that millions of people go to work in factories that were suddenly spewing out more industrial products than at any time in world history.  So why not simply do this again?  Well, since you asked, it’s because the military already has most of what it needs!  Prior to WWII, the military had nothing compared to today where emergency war supplies are simply sitting on ships and in warehouses waiting to be used – building a couple hundred planes or ships will do nothing to stimulate the economy in the long run simply because it’s not enough.  At the height of WWII, defense spending equaled 42% of GDP, whereas today, even with the proposed increases, it will remain below 5%.  In case you don’t have an advanced degree in economics (don’t worry, neither do I) 42% of GDP is UNBELIEVABLY HIGH, and short of an imminent nuclear apocalypse, we will probably never again see anything that even remotely approaches WWII levels.  In other words, for the military to act as an economic stimulator, we would have to increase our defense spending from it’s current level of 4% to 42% of GDP.  The only way that would ever happen is if the Soviets suddenly parachuted onto the football field of a Midwest high school.  (In which case, all we would need is a high school football team armed with hunting rifles – Go Wolverines!) 

As a side note, I have one question I would like to ask these defense hawks:  How is it possible that the total cost overrun for all our defense programs is greater than the total combined defense spending of the NEXT SIX COUNTRIES ADDED TOGETHER yet we still don’t spend enough on defense?!  I fully understand the threats that are out there and I fully concur that they need to be addressed, but how is it that we spend so much money on defense relative to the rest of the world yet never feel safe?  It is perhaps becuase we’re spending money on the wrong things…? 

Anyways, to wrap this whole thing up, ignoring that Obama is actually increasing the defense budget, and that these ‘poor, soon to be out of work machinists’ will simply get transferred from the F22 line to the F35 line (which is built by the same company), all these people who are up in arms about the defense budget have accomplished is show their true colors:  It’s not national security that drives their concerns, it’s their pocketbooks, and that is a flimsy pretense on which to base one’s national security strategy.

Disaster movies

So close...

This weekend I watched the remake of ‘The Day the Earth stood still.’  Terrible.  I was with it all the way until the end when Keanu decided that humans were worth saving.  What a load of crap!  When will they make a disaster movie that caters to the segment of the population that wants to see humanity get wiped out!  Huh?!  I’m not saying I’m eagerly anticipating the day the human race goes extinct, I’m just saying that from the earth’s perspective, we’re like a houseguest that has over stayed our welcome – all six billion of us.  Think of it this way:  Everything on this planet exists in perfect balance with everything else – except for us.  The entire system is self-regulating – the ultimate proof of the feasibility of free markets – but then homo sapien comes along and throws the proverbial monkey wrench (pun intended) into the system and messes up the whole thing.  My theory as to why we keep making things worse is because at some point a little strand of dna mutated that left us with the desire not only to exist, but the desire to improve our existence.  And therein lies the problem (at least from the earth’s perspective).  Everything else on this planet simply wants to exist – to quote Homer, ‘all you do is sleep and eat and mate and sleep…where do I sign up?’  We, on the other hand, don’t seem content with that existence, and therefore we spend our days seeking ways to improve our existence, but unfortunately for the earth, since everything that happens on this planet is a zero-sum gain, the improvement of one comes at the expense of another.  I take great comfort in the idea that at some point humanity will go extinct, and the earth will forget all about us, and everything will go back to its perfectly self-regulating existence.  I take great comfort not because I like the idea of an impending apocalypse, I just like the idea that in the end, anything we do just isn’t that big a deal, and that eventually the earth will heal itself and start anew.  I just wish I could be around to see it – but since that would defeat the whole point, I’ll continue to wait for the movie.

Authorized pirate headgear

Oh, my, I was only looking for the sport’s section!

Try looking inconspicuous while reading this!

Just when you think it’s going to be another boring ride on the Metro, fighting for a seat, shoving some fat-ass out of the way, leafing through the depressing news that seems to pervade my morning paper, I find this:

http://www.expressnightout.com/content/2009/04/super_secret_joe_shusters_secret_identit.php

I like to imagine the entire population that makes up the Metro riders of the greater DC area all showed up at work today a bit more flushed than usual…something tells me today (and tonight!) is going to be good for DC!

Top ten responses to Washingtonian cover

Here are my top ten ‘off-the-cuff’ remarks I would make if I was walking on the beach and ran into the above pictured scene:

10.  Did Congress have to approve that package?

9.  I take it the White House has a good gym?

8.  How many copies of the budget can you bench?

7.  At least something in this economy is getting stimulated!

6.  I didn’t realize number crunching worked your abs!

5.  When you shook hands with Hugo Chavez, was it like Rocky meeting Drago?

4.  I haven’t seen guns like that since the war of 1812!

3.  Too bad we can’t use those things for waterboarding!

2.  I take it Easter Egg rolls are great for your core?

1.  When do we get to see the picture of Michelle?

 

And the top runner up:

Does the Secret Service even bother with the bullet proof vest?

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Bay Movies

'I think we should see other people.'

I just watched the trailer to Transformers 2.  At first I wasn’t sure if I was watching a clip from ‘Armageddon’ since the opening scene IS IDENTICAL!!!!  Is Michael Bay just phoning it in?!  Do all his movies have to start with giant fiery balls of goo destroying well known landmarks!?  And for that matter, what are the odds that the Eiffel Tower would always be the first thing on this earth to get blown up by giant hunks of burning space crap flying through our atmosphere?!  I mean, come on!  The Eiffel Tower isn’t that big!  Not only that, but it isn’t even solid – you would think at least one of these fiery balls would fly through the tower without hitting anything right?!  Were the French mean to Michael Bay when he was backpacking around Europe after film school?  Is that why?  Ugh.  Anyways.

Watching Michael Bay’s movies is like being involved in a self-destructive relationship:  You go to the movie, hate it, swear you’ll never watch another one again, then some time goes by and the DVD gets released, and you say to yourself, ‘Oh, it wasn’t that bad, maybe we can still be friends.’  So now you own a copy of a crappy movie that you didn’t like, and some more time goes by, and before you know it the sequel comes out, and you think back to all the good times you had, and you think, maybe we can make it work this time, so you go to see the movie, and within the first five minutes you remember exactly why you broke up in the first place, but too late, you’ve already bought your ticket so you might as well stay for the whole thing.  And on and on and on…until one day you wake up, look at your DVD collection and realize that Armageddon and Transformers are still in the plastic wrapper…2 years later!  And that’s when you realize it’s time to break up for good…but the box is so shiny…and you love seeing things get blown up…oh, maybe I’ll just skip to the good scenes, maybe it’ll work this time…hey, is that a dinobot in the new Transformers movie…I love dinobots!  Oh, Michael, I can never be mad at you!

Subway…eat…soon?

Today marked the first time I forgot to bring my lunch and had no one to go to lunch with.  Accordingly, I ventured out on my own in search of sustenance and stumbled upon a Subway.  I imagine the feelings I experienced were a lot like Moses finally setting eyes upon the promised land, the only difference being I was allowed to go in.  Now, in order for me to properly and fully explain just how magnificent this Subway was compared to the one I had previously patronized, I must first explain just how awful the previous Subway was. 

To begin with, the last Subway was located on the Navy Yard, which is in many ways the kiss of death to begin with.  Because it’s on the Navy Yard, the only people they can count on eating there are the work week lunch time crowds.  As a result, the manager would only order enough food to last from 10 am (when they opened) to 1pm (when the lunch time rush ended).  This meant that if you arrived after 1pm then you were most likely out of luck, as all they were likely to have left were a few errant pieces of bologna (does Subway even serve bologna?  I think the manager just brought some from home), some of those weird peppers that no one eats, and a couple drops of one of their less popular sauces.  As for bread…Wheat.  The other major fault of this Subway was that since everyone ate at the same time, the lines were always incredibly long.  On average, there would be about thirty people waiting in line at one time to get their sandwich.  Now, you would think that since the manger knew that everyone would be lining up at the same time every day, that he would make sure to have everything ready to go, thereby ensuring prompt customer service.  Oh no.  Instead, what one got was a ragtag selection of people whose only goals in life were to work their way up from bread maker to fixens’ person, and even that was considered a stretch.  Sadly, I don’t think any words of mine can properly describe just how bad these people were at making sandwiches.  I’ll leave you with this one example and then move on:  One day, I shuffled up to the counter after having waited in line for 35 minutes and placed my order for a six inch tuna on italian.  At first I was informed that they didn’t have any italian.  OK, no problem.  How about Italian herbs and cheese?  You have that?  Great!  My sandwich then worked its way down the line until the person was ready to begin the intricate origami-like wrapping when I asked if they intended to put any tuna in the bread.  Oh, you wanted tuna on that?  No, I was really in the mood for two slices of bread with some lettuce between them. 

Now that you have an appreciation for just how bad the Navy Yard subway is, you can better understand my excitement at finding a subway run by competent people.  All I’ll say in favor of my new Subway is this:  It’s a good thing I order the same thing every single time (going on 9 years now – 6″ tuna on italian, american cheese, lettuce, bannana peppers, and mayo – try it, you’ll love it) because I didn’t even have time to think between the different sandwich making stations.  The entire process from, “I’d like…” to, “thank you” literally lasted less than 1 minute.  It was the happiest sandwich day of my life.

Bad tie day

Oh, so that's what I'm doing wrong!

Have you ever noticed that the quality of your tie seems to set the tone for the entire day?  There are some days where I get up, shower, start to get dressed, and all seems to be going well until I go to put on my tie.  Now, like all pompous people I always tie a double windsor.  No real reason other than it makes me better than those suckers who cheap out on a half windsor.  Don’t even get me started on a four in hand.  Anyways, there I am, completing the final step of donning my tie when I realize that it is way too short.  No big deal, I’ll simply try again.  Nope, way too long.  This time I’ll just split the difference…four attempts later and I knew I was screwed. 

Sure enough, today had all the makings of a 6-tie-attempt day.  Bad tie days – they’re like bad hair days, except you can’t cover them up with a hat.

What were those crazy Jews up to this morning?

On Wed, April 8th at sunrise, a whole bunch of crazy Jews gathered around the world to apparently worship the sun.  An article about the phenomenon ran in the paper (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/08/AR2009040803355.html) and my rabbinic friend, Juan Muerdleberg, asked me what the deal was, to which I responded, “I have no friggin’ clue!”  However, after some serious scholarly research I have come up with a helpful series of questions and answers: 

 

What were those crazy Jews up to this morning?

 

They were reciting a prayer called the Birkat Hachama that honors God for creating the Sun.  The prayer is said once every 28 years when the sun returns to the exact position in which it was created by God.

 

Where does the 28 years come from?

 

Jews believe that the position of the sun when the vernal equinox occurs on a Tuesday at sunset matches the position in which God originally created the sun and once every 28 years is how often the Vernal Equinox occurs on a Tuesday at sundown

 

Why were people reciting the prayer at sunrise instead of sunset the night before?

 

The Birkat Hachama is recited when the vernal equinox occurs at sundown on a Tuesday, but because the sun is no longer visible, you wait until sunrise of the following day to recite the prayer

 

Didn’t the vernal equinox occur this year on the 20^th of March?

 

The Birkat Hachama is said not during the true vernal equinox, but during the halachic (religious) equinox.

 

So, how did we come up with Tuesday?

 

Judaism believes God created the Sun on the fourth day (Tuesday) of the month of Nissan.

 

If the Jewish week begins on Sunday, why isn’t the prayer said on Wed rather than Tuesday since Wed is four days from Sunday?

 

Judaism believes a day is measured from sunset to sunset, so Tuesday sunset marks the beginning of the new day, which equals four days from Saturday sunset.  When we say Tuesday sunset, we really mean the start of the next day.

 

So, now we have a prayer that has to be recited when the halachic vernal equinox occurs on a Tuesday at sunset, how do we determine when the halachic vernal equinox occurs?

 

Rabbis in the year 45 BC set the date as the 25^th of March.

 

If it was set as the 25^th of March, why was it observed on the 8^th of April?

 

The 25^th of March refers to the Julian calendar, not the Gregorian calendar which is what the world currently follows. 

 

When and why did we switch from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar?

 

The Julian calendar was created by Julius Caesar and was based on 355 days alternating with intercalary years of 377 or 378 days, but this became very confusing and didn’t work very well so Christian leaders got together at the Council of Nicea in 325 CE and established a new calendar that was designed to correct errors in the old calendar and make it so it aligned perfectly with the sun’s cycle without human intervention.  This calendar was adopted by the European world in 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII which is why it is called the Gregorian calendar.  The Gregorian calendar was designed to be 365 ¼ days, with an extra day every 4 years to realign the calendar with the sun.

 

What did the switch from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar mean for Birkat Halachah?

 

When converting from a Julian to Gregorian calendar you have to jump ahead about 10 days.  This is because the inaccuracies inherent in the Julian calendar cause extra days to build up and at the time the switch occurred, there were about 10 extra days that had to be removed.  So when the Julian calendar ended on Thursday 4 Oct 1582, the next day when the Gregorian Calendar started was Friday 15 October 1582.  However, because of the religious reasons behind the change, Judaism didn’t accept the switch from Julian to Gregorian, so according to the Jewish calendar the first post-Gregorian Birkat Halacham occurred on March 25^th, 1609, but for the rest of the world it was April 4^th, 1609.  

 

If Birkat Halacham occurred on Apr 4^th of the Gregorian calendar to correspond with March 25^th of the Julian calendar, and Birkat Halacham always occurs on the Julian March 25^th, why was it observed on April 8^th of this year? 

 

The Gregorian calendar gains one day each century year that is not a leap year in relation to the Julian calendar.  A leap year is defined by the following algorithm:

 

1.  
   1. Every year that is divisible by four is a leap year;
   2. of those years, if it can be divided by 100, it is NOT a leap year, unless
   3. the year is divisible by 400. Then it is a leap year.

 

Therefore, the years 1600, 1700, 1800, and 1900 all resulted in the Gregorian calendar gaining one day in relation to the Julian calendar meaning that the Birkat Halacham jumps forward one day in the Gregorian calendar every 100 year in relation to the Julian calendar.  This means that if the first Birkat Halacham of the Gregorian calendar was April 4^th, 1609, you have to add 3 days in order to get the most recent date.  The following shows why:

 

a.       If you add one day for each non-leap century year, you get the following:

                                                               i.      1709 = Apr 5

                                                             ii.      1809 = Apr 6

                                                            iii.      1909 = Apr 7

                                                           iv.      2009 = Apr 7 (not Apr 8, because the year 2000 was a leap year, therefore an extra day did not need to be added)

 

Huh?

 

In conclusion, the Birkat Halacham started on March 25^th of the Julian calendar, then shifted to April 4^th of the Gregorian calendar because of the 10 days that were skipped when the switch from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar occurred, and you then add 3 more days for each non-leap century year that has occurred since the switch from Julian to Gregorian, which results in the Birkat Halacham being recited on April 7^th, but because you wait until sunrise of the following day, the prayer was said on April 8^th at sunrise.

 

And that’s what those crazy Jews were doing this morning.